Living outside of One’s Comfort Zone


Just before having to get out of the way

My Weekly Musings #4

Last week, our American friends invited us to visit the camel bazaar outside Cairo (on the Giza/Sakkara road). We’ve been living here now for just short of three years and I have never been outside of my comfort zone so much in my life. It is literally a daily thing. It is good for me – especially for spiritual me. Not only does it teach me plenty about the world around me, the people of this country, their strange culture and their fanatic religion, but it also teaches me a lot about myself. Living in a culture where you do not understand the language and isn’t even able to read their alphabet or have the same traditions and customs or worship the same God, things can get quite uncomfortable.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing being out of your comfort zone. It confronts one’s own beliefs, upbringing, culture, customs, world view and lifestyle when you are thrown into a world where nothing is familiar or make sense to you. Not only do you question the behaviour of the people around you, but you question your own. It is not a once off thing, but an ongoing everyday introspection. And not only do you learn to value what is ‘own’ to you, but you also learn to embrace and appreciate diversity. Very early on in our stay here, I have decided that I don’t understand much (not even a reasonable bit) of this culture, but that I am not even going to try to understand it. It makes life here a little bit easier and less complicated to observe rather than to label.

Back to the camel bazaar. I’m sure that this place wouldn’t even exist in a Western country. It’s a raw experience. Camels, by their hundreds, maybe even more, are brought together on a Friday morning to be sold I was told, mostly for meat. Men and (some very young) boys herd the animals – hopping along on three legs as one of the front legs is tied with rope to keep the animal from running away – towards the various ‘auction stations’ with long bamboo sticks. It isn’t a pretty picture to see. On the surface and in the viewpoint of a foreigner like me, it is a harsh place for a camel to be. And also for the people involved.

Upon arriving there, we were only four females in a sea of males – something that already pushes the discomfortometer into the red. The sticks hitting the camels’ bodies – be it on the humps, legs or head – is another difficulty to deal with. Furthermore, none of the camels looked like they had the potential for dinner I would want to see on my plate.

But I realised that it wasn’t my world. It wasn’t my place to judge. With that I don’t condone the behaviour of the people or the suffering of the animals. Sometimes in life things just are what they are – people making a living, surviving the only way they know how to the way they did for centuries – maybe even millennia. My disliking it, my discomfort and the fact that I might disapprove of their way of doing as a foreigner in their country, is not going to change that. I’m not going to alter a country’s culture, customs and actions which are way older than my own culture. What I should do is learn to appreciate it for what it is.

I realised that I would probably be out of my comfort zone many, many, many more times in the period we have left here in this interesting, phenomenal country. How I handle my discomfort is what is important. If I can’t change people’s behaviour or world view, I can at least work on my own. I can learn to value the diversity of this place and the other countries we are visiting, as well as that of my own country when we go back. Hopefully, when we are back in our own culture – which is just as diverse – I will be able to feel less uncomfortable in the mixture, while still staying true to my own upbringing and beliefs and being more tolerant towards people who are different from me.

In the end, when one sees the bigger picture from a forever-living-worldview, we are reminded that we who confess Him as our Saviour are one body in Messiah (Romans 12:5). One day we will be immersed into His culture and all the discomfort of worldly customs, poverty and illness will be something from the past.

PS: I spelled necessarily correct without using spell check or a dictionary.

© 2017 Fielies (Riëtte) De Kock

Awesomest wife. Finest mom. Hopeful Writer. Forever dreamer. Temporarily living in Cairo, Egypt.

Learn on a Low Budget


While it might be beyond your physical abilities (read lack of finances) to get a higher education, you can still improve your knowledge and skills levels by means of self education. Here are few pointers for learning without having to spend money you don’t have.

Responsibility and Self-discipline. There are two aspects that go hand-in-hand when wanting to get ahead in life. Only you can take responsibility for yourself and your education. If you want to get somewhere in life and want to have success – whatever your definition of success is – you will need to have self-discipline.

Do the Hard Time. Without passing Grade 12 well, your chances of advancing in any career is very limited.

Bursaries. Companies and tertiary institutions give bursaries to good students, students from less privileged backgrounds, students who stood out in leadership positions, students excelling in sports or students being involved in uplifting community projects. Find out if you qualify for one of these.

Work while Studying. If bursaries don’t come your way, try getting in with a company where you will have the opportunity of working and studying simultaneously, while they are paying for your studies while you ‘work back’ for them. If that’s not possible, get work anyway and try to pay your way through it. Most tertiary institutions allow you to take only one or two subjects per year, which will make it cheaper to afford.

Interviews. A way of learning a lot about the market place is to apply for jobs so that you can be invited for interviews. This way you will learn what it is employers are looking for in prospects, while you practice your interview skills and stay up to date of the job market in general.

General Knowledge. Employers like people with a wide general knowledge, the ability to think for themselves and the capability to work independently. So, be creative and take initiative in your current job.

Take a ‘Gap’ Year. Do a year of community service, some kind of religion-driven service or ‘growth’ course or travel the world and work wherever you go – to pay for it. This way you do something useful and learn a bit about a lot and get life experience. You might also divide your year in periods and experience different jobs to learn as much as you can about what you like or dislike. This will help you to find your own strong and weak points, which might lead you to the job you want to do for the rest of your life.

Teach Yourself. Read books, read magazines and e-zines (electronic magazines) and do Internet research about everything you are interested in.

Visit Shows and Expo’s. Visit shows and expo’s and learn about different jobs and subjects, take brochures and follow up the web addresses and contact information. Talk to the experts at the exhibitions and learn as much as you can while there.

Learn from Other People. Learn everything you can by asking people questions about their jobs and industries. Be sensitive though, not to be nosy and beware of asking improper questions.

Other Tips for Learning

–  Know yourself.

–  Find your purpose.

–  Envision your dreams.

–  When you lose a dream, get a new one.

–  Get a mentor.

–  Learn from your own and other people’s failures. Most ‘successful’ people had quite a few failures before they became successful.

–  Never give up.

–  And never ever stop learning.

© 2013 Riëtte de Kock

I am trying hard to be a Proverbs 31-woman – excellent wife, finest mom, greatest lover and successful entrepreneur and freelance writer all at the same time! I share a living space in Pretoria, South Africa with my husband, son, mother, four dogs and sometimes the neighbours’ cats – and my head with way too many ideas and multitudes of story characters.

Visit my website at and buy my children’s ebook, Yeovangya, on Amazon Kindle at

My Afrikaans blog is available on my website – or just click on this link: